I’ve never contemplated suicide in my life. But truth be told, I’m just about at that point. I can’t sleep, I can barely eat, & happiness seems far from arms reach. I’m insecure about my behavior as a person. I’m unsatisfied in every aspect of life. I’m just about at my lowest point. What to do? I’m not sure, but something needs to happen fast. I need god to heal all the open wombs that burn me each and every day. I need forgiveness for all of the wrong I’ve done. I’m not even asking for happiness…I’m just asking for stability with myself. I don’t even know where I want to go with my life anymore. I can’t tell the difference between “passion” and “false hope”. For the first time in my life I feel as if I need guidance. My son deserve an independent father who has his head on straight. Not some “dreamer” with a low self esteem. If this is my karma for all the wrong I’ve done, than I’ve accepted depression into my life, & all I ask for is guidance through this dark time in my life. I feel: LIFELESS.

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